hestia_caliga

Of all the arrogant

I did not want to go. It was a bullshit errand. I said as much. It was time when I could have been out looking for Adrian Pucey. And he sent me the damned case file. I'm half tempted to hand it to Kings and say

You pissed him off. You finish the paperwork.

I hate to be all "I told you so". Things are such in an upheave at the office. Too many people moving around. Not enough communication.

I overheard Burke griping to Church about Tombs being with him for the Megan spotting. Which is disturbing. The Megan, not the Tombs.

Savage's case isn't the only one being moved about, I've noticed.

Why did I ever think I was attracted to him?

In other news, I saw Nat tonight. She looked pretty good for someone who was in a coma or what not.

Need to speak to Vane about what happened and soon.

McDonald is completely annoying now that she has returned to work. Will owl Dean. Am afraid little idiot will get herself hurt if she continues on this path. She's acting like she's hex-proof and that's a sure way to get dead.

Maybe I could ask Vane to beat her up a few times. Knock the piss and vinegar out of her. Don't know if she would though. Never saw two people who were more friendly deny their friendship.

Stupid prick. Can't even keep it in his pants like a normal person.

I still can't even

I'd like to hit him again.

Am wrong pervert who needs a good plugging. Completely went to a place in the gutter when reading Remus' reply owl. Not good. Something definitely wrong when thinking of shagging old friends - beyond that the exes of coworkers and friends. Even for only two seconds.

Mad-Eye replied also. Shall have to reply in code, as I do not want to hear it if I do not. Will meet with him soon. Curious about why he needs to discuss something with me in an Auror training capacity.

Should visit Megan soon.

Owled Remus. How odd is it that I still do not know how to relate to Remus without Sirius there? I'm uncertain how to be with him. Still. That bothers me. Remus is a friend. I should not feel the need to have Sirius with us, but I was never really around Remus without Sirius there.

Owled Mad-Eye. Good way to convice yourself you aren't paranoid - talk to someone who you know without a doubt is more paranoid than you are.

Malfoy turned up. I am interested to know how.

Have been deep in my thoughts all day.

I wonder if Mad-Eye's paranoia is contageous. I am seeing conspiracy everywhere, and I do not want to tell anyone because they'll make me start seieng the therapist more often. Perhaps I should see what Moody is up to. At least he'll listen to me without thinking I'm a nutter.

I really don't relish the round of twenty questions I'll have to play to prove I am me with him though.

Am miserable.

Natalie knows I am hungover and has been slamming things around purposefully all morning, the little bitch. Saw Tonks earlier. She seems to be having the sort of day I am. Will never drink that much firewhisky at the Sticks again. Strongly suspect Brody does not dilute his. Also strongly suspect I kissed MacDougal last night. Should probably apologize.

I also think I floo-called someone last night. Not sure who.

So Kings just popped in to check that I was all right. Apparently, I do not THINK I floo-called someone - I drunk floo-called Kingsley. Now Maggie is concerned that I am drinking in the middle of the week. Fantastic. This is all I need right now. Especially since I just got an official memo saying Megan's had an "episode" and they need me to come to Azkaban. So not happening today. I do suppose I need to visit, but I refuse to do so hungover.

Dean owled me. It got buried on my desk. I just found it today. It's really too bad he's very serious about my trainee. His paranoia is terribly attractive, and I imagine all that fighting ability comes in handy in places besides a sparring mat. Rather unfortunate because I'm a bit wound up these days. Even Burke is starting to look good. I know HE would, but, honestly, I'd rather keep my self respect. I think I'd rather dig up whatever's left of "Rebastard" Lestrange and have sex with it.

Anyhow.

Dean gave me a little too much to think about. I know the Greengrass girl was recently arrested and the case was taken from Tonks. I also know the girl was released under monitoring until her sentencing before the Wizengamot. I'm going to have to speak with her about this Montague thing. There have been a few whispers of a secret-ish pureblood society, but I thought it all nonsense. Maybe it isn't. There were whisperes before Voldemort both times too. Maybe I should learn to listen to even the craziest rambling. I don't know if I could take losing people in another power struggle.

Speaking of people. I heard Remus is back in England. I should owl him about getting a pint. It's been too long. I suspect he knew how I felt about his best mate, but we never discussed it. Discretion thy name is Remus. He's a good bloke who gets treated poorly. Yes. Will definitely owl him. Will definitely owl him when I am sure I won't ramble on about certain people all night.

And who is the absolute child they have put in Mafalda Hopkirk's position? What is she? 16? She looks like she should still be in 7th year at Hogwarts. I am beginning to wonder if there isn't some method to this seemingly innocuous oddity. First Harry, now this girl? Not that Harry isn't learning to handle things better. It just doesn't make any sense to put him in a seat of power like that. He belongs in the field.

I wonder if it might all be somehow connected. I also wonder if I need to get out more because I am sounding ridiculous and overly paranoid.

I am 40 today. I don't feel 40.

If John Burke offers to spank me one more time, I am breaking one of his hands.

Harry sent me pens. Practical. He must have noticed how I do not prefer quills. Natalie and Gray got me some very pretty orchids and a leather jacket. I am fairly certain Gray picked out the jacket. Natalie is not a "clothes" sort of girl. Kings got me a new pair of boots for the office. Very nice dragon's hide. Maggie sent me a dress. When is the woman ever going to learn? I do not have anywhere to wear it. It's nice though. Black. Classy. (Not me - ha!) I suspect Kings also sent me roses. Don't know why he did not sign the card though.

Must send thank yous after lunch.

John Burke is back in England. Hide your daughters.